Thursday, May 28, 2009

Difficult Time

On March 16, 2009, I posted this note on my blog.

I was determined to post every day or every other day, but life has its way. My mother fell and broke two ribs. We spent Saturday night at the ER. She is in a lot of pain and I spend my days with her. No laptop, no Internet, no time to blog or email. Honestly even if I had the time, I am not in a mood to blog, except about assisted living, getting old, broken bones, hospital and other depressing things.Since that day, most of my posts were book promotion for my friends with posts with pictures from the RT convention and a couple of posts here and there on a good day. But frankly, there have been very few good days.

Two months later, things are getting worse.
My mother was still recovering from her fractured ribs when she fell on her head, cut her scalpel and bled so much my sister rushed her to ER where she received four staples on the back of the head. The next day I returned home and went straight to the hospital. Two long weeks of hospital and rehab before they discharged her. Unfortunately four days later, she tumbled down from her chair and hurt her shoulder, a tiny fracture that hurt like hell. All the time, she remained positive, telling every one, “it could have been worse”.

I had trouble holding my tears when I saw her in so much pain. The slightest move required tremendous effort and caused hurt. But she would smile and say, “I’m fine.”

Yet, there was more to come for her as she experienced a stroke last week and lost her speech for a moment. We rushed to ER again. They kept her for two days and ran a series of tests, including MRI. For the last two months she had been at the hospital every Friday.

Mom is back home but I was told that she won’t be able to walk again. The doctors have stopped all therapy. She’s confined to her recliner and wheelchair, and eats only soft and pureed food.

I spend my days with her, grind her food and feed her, call the aids or nurses when she needs them, and ensure she is comfortable. It has become my fulltime job but I have a hard time coping with suffering, especially that of a loved one. To keep my sanity I take my laptop with me and write while she naps. Amazingly my muse came back. The stories I write provide the escape I need. She dozes often, but between naps she asks me what happens next with my heroine and she gives me her opinion.

My medical romance, Prescription for Trust coming on Dec 04, 2009 is dedicated to my mother, a role model and wonderful example of courage.

Did you have to deal with the illness of a loved one? How did you cope? I can use advice.


Molly Daniels said...

You're in my thoughts and prayers, sweetie. It's tough to go through this. My mom took a hiatus from her job in order to go to Florida and be my grandmother's hospice nurse. My uncle visted often, and remarked on her strength as my grandmother was dying from cancer. And she did it again four years later with her own grandmother, my great-grandma.

Hugs. Cherish this time with your mom, and keep your sense of humor and faith. Sounds like your mom has it in abundance!

Mona Risk said...

Thanks Molly for the encouragement.

Mary Marvella said...

Mona hon,
I had to stay with Daddy before Mama put him into a personal care home. she couldn't leave him along and he wouldn't allow anyone else to look after him. I spend traveled 2 hours away for 2 or 3 days every week so Mama could go to church and buy groceries.

Mama finally put him in personal care home. Mama was a trouper! Once he was in the home, I had to visit him so she could stay home and rest.

It's hard but you are doing what you must. Hugs to you!

Mary Ricksen said...

My dad was in and out of the hospital for five years. When his kidneys stopped working the dialysis started. One infection after another followed. To be on dialysis is an awful way to live.
Finally a MRSA (medically resistant staff infection) in his bad knee. He started on IV antibiotics and they put in a PICC line. A semi permanent open vein portal. He got infection there. In and out of the hospital, months in rehab. It went on and on. He got C diff. which is a horrible infection you can catch in hospitals from being on constant antibiotics. What finally took his life is the feeding tube they put in his stomach against our orders. The Mayo clinic is a teaching hospital. And not the great place it used to be. A student practicing put a hole in his stomach and the contents of his stomach and intestines began to fill his insides. He got a lethal infections and died a horrible painful death. Like being gut shot. Time will help you and a good support system.

Mona Risk said...

Thank you Mary R, Mary M, and Molly your words are my support system now.